Acquaintances / Relations Unexplored
Sometimes I see life as some conditions being actualized, some events happening and some causal relations being instantiated, apart from a vast possibilities being unexplored, energies being untamed and thousands of meaningful connections and co-relations being left unattended, untouched and undiscovered. This post especially throws light on human relations, or you may say a small aspect of human relations, and that too the relations unexplored. I won’t say uninvented, but simply undiscovered, because discovery is about some already existing truth being revealed.There are few people I see around, almost every now and then. To mention a few, a professor who taught me in first sem, my tutor, one of one of my batchmate, a senior of third year, one of my friend's classmate. But I have my own inhibitions in approaching them. And it sound silly to me to go and tell someone ‘I find you interesting’, its very teenagerish I believe. This is because as soon as you get in touch with a person, you might realize he/she is not the way you expected him/her to be. Then you can’t get back and say good-bye as you have already placed the person on high pedestal.
I am not the one who is very talkative kinds, who can participate in a discussion vociferously unless I feel people want me to speak. Yes I don’t’ initiate a conversation as I wonder if the person would be comfortable speaking to me. I always wait for others to invite me for speaking, asking for my opinion as I feel I should not impose myself and my being a potential friend on others. This is another reason why restrain myself of taking chances with people on my own initiative. I find this girl in girls’ hostel being laid with another ‘potential’ . Her body language is amazingly good, she is those serious kinds whom the opposite sex in general might not look forward to speak to. She has elegance, sophistication and attitude! Her confidence and sense of independence are her forte I guess. She is not like most of the girls who dont hav much of substance but do silly thing to attract attention. I like her attitude. She has some such qualities which I always appreciate in a woman. And then I mar a possibility of having a friendly relation with her just because of these two reasons, my being a bit reserved (and shy too), then other reason being my being quite cautious and sensitive towards the fact that I might be imposing self on others without their will. Fate is sealed!
I find those people appealing who have some substance to share with, apart from how they carry (conduct?) themselves in the society and their wholesome persona.There is a guy who i like much This was the fact that apart from his qualities, I found this guy full of air of superiority and almost living with this deep sense of being ‘different from others’, considering himself as superior. Yeah sometime there are people who always want to pose as if they are next to none and they don’t even bother to pay attention at those around them, extremely selfish and conceited! Then the idea of befriending him is pooh-poohed.
And then this professor whom I mentioned above. He is very academically oriented, pro students, believes in helping others and enthusiastically involves himself in any good cause and has the charisma to bring people together and work for a noble cause. I think he is a person whom one can learn a lot. Here the barrier is again external. What would others think if I make friends with him, as it is, I am a reserved person; my supervisor might not like the idea of my mixing a lot with him as he is not at all in good terms with this person. So sometimes this social factor comes in and dismantles the future castles of relationships in the air.
So these are some of the reasons because of which people are unable to shove themselves into possible relations. Bahhh…………so what is the tip for me, to be happy with my little world, enjoy the pleasures of exploring possibilities of these relationships within my mind or the maximum write them about like the way I did just now and at some point use these ‘characters’ to develop a good fiction in future!!! Kya baat hai!!! Kuch meetha ho jaye…..meetha na mile to have some chanas and sing along…
“hazaron khawahishen aisi ki har khawahish pe dam nikle,
bahut nikle mere armaan lekin phir bhi kam nikle”
vocabulary
P.S.:- Not whole of vocabulary is mine but I think exactly the same.
